There's a first time for Everything
by Godlovesme
Summary: Harry and the gang go throught a series of 'firsts.' Kind of a continuation of Harry's First Coffee, but this time they get caught in various game, situations, movies, everything. First chapter/adventure up. Chapter 1: Faketrix:Reloaded


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters. So blah. Authors Note: Kim is pressing a gun to my head, she is making me write this fic, so give her the credit. Except that it's actually me writing it, so . . . give me more credit than kim. Ouch she just hit me. This is a spoiler for the Matrix: Reloaded. If you haven't seen it, then don't read this chapter. ~~~~~~~^~~~~~~~ The Feature Presentation   
  
"What in the world are we doing here?" Ron looked around curiously.   
  
"Ron, it's called a movie theatre," Hermione rolled her eyes.   
  
"Yah, duh Weasel," Draco sneered.   
  
"Why the hell are you here?" Harry Potter looked at Draco.   
  
"I'm here because everybody loves me," Draco smirked.   
  
"In your dreams Malfoy," Harry retorted.   
  
"No Harry, in YOUR dreams," Draco laughed at his own joke, while popcorn was thrown at him from all around.  
  
"So exactly movie are we seeing?" Ron pointed to the list of movies on the screen.   
  
"LIZZY MCGUIRE!" Harry and Hermione both shrieked at the top of the voices, in a high pitched tone of voice (as usual.) (* all kim's material *)   
  
"You're a freaking pansy," Draco poked Harry.   
  
"I'm not a pansy! You're a pansy. . . PANSY!" Harry jabbed Draco in the ribs.   
  
"Stop it now," Hermione said as they started to kick/jab/punch/slap (Harry)/bite (Harry again. . . )  
  
"We only touch with love here," Ron said with a proud voice, with the American flag shining behind him brightly in the sun while a bald eagle flew past. (P.S If you don't get it: Ron symbolizes America, and Ron is a gay ass pansy, get it now?)   
  
"We only touch with love here? Oooh Draco!" Hermione turned towards Draco.   
  
"We'll talk later Granger," He winked.   
  
"Stay away from Hermione," Ron squealed  
  
"Shut up Ron, you're a gay ass pansy," Draco jabbed at Ron.  
  
"WHERE'S THE LOVE!?" Ron yelled.  
  
"Ok for heavens sakes, what movie are we going to see?!" Harry whined, trying to subtly point at Lizzy McGuire, failing horribly.  
  
"No crap ass movies," Draco pouted.  
  
"Fine, lets see the Matrix: Reloaded," Ron looked up at the picture.   
  
"What's that?" Hermione looked doubtfully at the poster.   
  
"I dunno, it looks like a really good movie though," Harry examined the poster. "Well then lets go," Draco went to go buy a ticket.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~^~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "WHAT!? You don't take gold?! DAMMIT!?" Draco screamed at the ticket seller.   
  
"No sir, we don't take gold," The ticket seller said in monotone.   
  
"Well what do you take?!" Draco was furious at the lady.   
  
"We take cash and debit," The ticket seller looked at him.   
  
"Harrryyyy" Draco squealed.   
  
"What the hell now, can't you even do the simple task of buying tickets?" Harry asked.   
  
"What's a cash?" Draco pouted at Harry.   
  
"Oh for heavens sakes," Harry rolled his eyes and pulled out some cash to give to the ticket seller.  
  
"Thank you and enjoy your show," The seller waved them away.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^~~~~~   
  
"Oooooooh, I wanna see that movie, and that movie, and that one, and that one to!" Harry bounded up the hall to the movie looking at all the posters on the way.   
  
"I used to have a crush on this guy!" Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
"You used to have a crush on Potter? EW how digusting!" Draco said.  
  
"Wow. . . I didn't know that," Ron said looking mournful.  
  
"Oh for heaven's sakes, why don't you just ask her out stupid Weasel?" Draco poked at Ron.  
  
"What, what do you mean?" Ron blushed a lovely shade of pink.  
  
"Don't be foolish," Draco slapped him across the face.  
  
"That had to be the gayest thing I have ever seen you do Malfoy," Hermione told Draco looking curious.  
  
"Perhaps I am gay?" Draco raised one sculptured eyebrow, winking at Hermione.  
  
"No, I don't think so," Harry joined the conversation.  
  
"Righteo, I'm not gay, I'm proudly Bi-sexual." Draco grinned, and grabbed both Hermione's and Harry's backsides.  
  
"Oh!" Hermione blushed.  
  
"Oh! Get your hands off of me," Harry punched him.  
  
"You know you want it Potter." Draco smirked.  
  
"Yah whatever you say," Harry rolled his eyes, moving into the theatre to grab a spot.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^~~~  
  
"When is the movie going to start?" Ron whined.  
  
"Well, now in fact," Hermione looked at her wrist watch.  
  
"Wow, what's that?!" Draco stared in fascination at her blinking wristwatch.  
  
"It's a watch. . ." Hermione said uncertainly.  
  
"Ooh and what's that?" Draco said pointing to the cellphone that Harry was currently playing Snake on.  
  
"It's a cell phone, you call people with it," Hermione explained.  
  
"Call people?" Draco said uncertainly, "Couldn't you just, you know. . . yell?"  
  
"No, no, no, a cell phone is just like a telephone, you can call people all over the world and not have to yell," Hermione laughed.  
  
"Oooooooooh, and is he calling someone now?" Draco started poking Harry.  
  
"Argh, stop that Malfoy!" Harry growled.  
  
"No, he's being immature and playing games," Hermione rolled her eyes, she strongly believed that cell phones were to be used to call people, not to play games on.  
  
"Oooh, can I try?" Ron said joining into the conversation. Unfortunately the movie started.  
  
~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~  
  
Halfway into the Matrix Reloaded.  
  
"How long have we been watching this movie?" Harry yawned.  
  
"Five billion hours," Hermione groaned, laying her head back on Draco's shoulder who was already sleeping, and had been sleeping soundly since the first five minutes of the film.  
  
"Why can't you just kill me now?" Ron's head slipped off his hand, as he slowly drifted off to sleep.  
  
"Was that sex scene necessary?" Hermione pondered aloud.  
  
"SHHHH!" The people around her shushed her.  
  
"Bah, who cares? This movie blows," Harry pulled out his cell phone, but unfortunately he fell fast asleep leaning on Ron instead.  
  
"Hey! You're gonna make me. . .* snore *" But Ron had already fallen asleep.  
  
"Hey, you guys can't just go to sleep without me!" Hermione protested, so she lay her head back down on her blond haired pillow, and fell fast asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~^  
  
"I have a purpose, and that purpose is to be the Oracle," a women said to a person, presumably Neo.  
  
"Oh god, where am I?" Draco wondered aloud, he was sitting on a bench with some strange lady, listening to her blabber on about something, when he noticed that he was wearing a very strange looking jacket.  
  
In fact. . . this jacket looked vaguely familiar. . . Where had he seen it?  
  
"Oh god, I'm in the matrix," Draco said aloud.  
  
"Well duh hunny! Of course you're in the Matrix, it's your purpose as the ONE to be in the matrix, I can speak to ghosts!" The women, the oracle said.  
  
Draco slowly turned to face her, when he was suddenly struck with a deep and penetrating fear.  
  
My God.  
  
The Oracle. . .  
  
She  
  
Was  
  
Whoopi Goldberg  
  
"AHHHHHHH! Not only am I Neo, I'm with Whoopi Goldberg!" Draco cried out in absolute bone chilling fear.  
  
"Now, I must go hunny, remember your choices, and perhaps the purposes, and the choices, and all those things that I say in the movie." Whoopi smiled, and the promptly left.  
  
"But I fell asleep!" Draco wailed loudly.  
  
"Hello Neo, remember me?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^~~~  
  
"And me"  
  
"And me"  
  
"And me"  
  
"And me"  
  
"And me"  
  
"My god, who the hell are. . . you people," Draco said to the guy, who was not just one guy, he was many guys.  
  
"Don't you remember me, I'm Smith. . . was that it? Or perhaps I was John, oh crap I really should've paid more attention," Smith said, well many Smith's said.  
  
"Potter?" Draco said with disbelief.  
  
"Malfoy?" Harry poked at Draco.  
  
"There's so many of you," Draco pointed at the many Harry's.  
  
"Yah I noticed, I could make you one of me," Harry grinned maliciously and then pressed his hand to Draco's chest.  
  
"Ow," Draco said, and then a whole bunch of metal stuff seemed to want to swallow him.  
  
"There yah go, yah that's right, you just keep changing," Harry laughed.  
  
"Hey Potter stop that," Draco protested. Harry just smiled.  
  
"STOP IT!" Draco said using all of his will power to make the metal stuff go away. He was the One after all. Luckily enough for him, it disappeared.  
  
"Hey come on, we were gonna have a whole bunch of fun," All the Harry's said in unison, making it sound really creepy.  
  
"Oh no Potter, I'm going to be the one having fun," Draco smiled, than threw a punch at one of the Harry's.  
  
~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~  
  
Ron woke up sleepily thinking that he was still in the large theatre, although. . . it was awfully quite.  
  
'Oh I bet they ditched me!' Ron thought angrily to himself before he opened his eyes.  
  
When he did, he suddenly became very, very afraid.  
  
"Where the hell am I?" Ron looked around fearfully at all the people staring at him through these weird screen things.  
  
"Oh my God, I don't know where I am!" Ron panicked, noticing that there was no door in the whole room.  
  
"What kind of freaky room is this?" Ron examined the room, which was just television screens. He looked at what he was sitting in, and it was one of those twirly type chairs. He gave it an experimental spin, and found himself laughing in joy as he twirled around and around.  
  
Feeling a little stupid he stopped spinning and looked at what he was wearing. He looked down to find that he was wearing a plain, impeccably clean, crisp, white suit.  
  
"I look like a fruit," Ron said aloud. He then noticed that he had a small nametag on his chest. It read 'the Architect'.  
  
"Eh?" Ron said, and then on one of the screens he heard the word "Dammit Harry, stop bringing in your stupid little. . . other Harry's!" And he looked up to see a screen that showed Harry and Draco in a huge fight. It looked like Harry had the advantage, but Draco seemed to be holding him off quite well. In fact, Draco looked to be winning, which is pretty much impossible since there were like twenty Harry's and one Draco.  
  
Ron settled into his chair to watch the fight continue for another hour or so.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Just give up Harry!" Draco yelled, whilst twirling around a pole and kicking the multitudes of Harry's in the face.  
  
"Ow that hurt," One of the Harry's rubbed his face.  
  
"You'll never will, I am the One!" Draco punched another Harry.  
  
"You do know, that we keep turning into computer graphics every few seconds," one of the Harry's pointed out.  
  
"Yah I did notice that, I look like a pansy. Jurassic park looked more realistic than this," Draco drawled, still fighting off Harry's.  
  
"Yah, Jurassic park kicked," A Harry at the back grinned.  
  
"Can we stop now?" Draco said hopefully.  
  
"Do you concede?" Harry asked thoughtfully.  
  
"No,"  
  
"Then Fight On Bastard."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hermione awoke to find herself sitting with some stupid sounding French guy.  
  
"Eh? Who are you?" Hermione asked the French guy.  
  
"I am your husband, you foolish woman," He said in the most horrible accent possible.  
  
"Ahh, oh yah. . ." Hermione blinked several times.  
  
"Persephone, you look a little hungry, would you like to fool around?" He touched her leg.  
  
'Eww. . horny French guy touching my leg,' The alarms in Hermione's head went off.  
  
"Darling?" he moved in closer.  
  
"AHH. . uh no, that's ok," She said moving his hand off her leg.  
  
"Hmm. . .ok my love," The French guy took the rejection quite well, well. . . that is until he let off a tidy stream of French insults. Unfortunately the only swear Hermione knew in French was 'merde' which was shit, and she thought that he was probably saying a few things more degrading than that.  
  
"Right. . ." Hermione raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Leave my sight instantly," He pointed at the door.  
  
Hermione shrugged and got up to leave.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ok, you're gonna give up soon right?" One of the Harry's said. All the other Harry's we're off to the side getting a drink of water.  
  
"No," Draco said, still fighting on.  
  
"You do realize that this part of the movie has been going on for. . . I don't know. . . and hour of two." Harry said while kicking high at Draco's chest.  
  
Draco grabbed his foot and twisted, sending Harry twirling towards the ground. That Harry blacked out, and all the other Harry's were to busy drinking water to notice that their only defense was down. This was the perfect time to get away.  
  
Draco slowly moved towards the gate to lead out of that place.  
  
Right foot,  
  
Left foot,  
  
Right foot,  
  
Right foot. . uh no I mean Left foot,  
  
And then,  
  
* trip * * thud* *bang * *crash * *swear *  
  
"He's down," One Harry said to another Harry.  
  
"That he is," another one smiled.  
  
"So what should we do?" A Harry flicked a fly off his arm.  
  
"Drink more water?" A Particular stupid Harry said.  
  
"How bout we destroy him?"  
  
"Good idea,"  
  
"He is only human after all."  
  
And suddenly all the Harry's jumped onto of the groaning Draco.  
  
Draco panicked as someone started to grab him, no. . . many someone's.  
  
All Harry's.  
  
Crap.  
  
'Well . . . what does one do in this situation?' Draco asked himself. The answer is:  
  
Jump into the air and fly like superman looking like a fake and cheap computer character, while doing your best to look as cheesy as possible.  
  
So he did, and they did, and Harry was pissed off.  
  
* BIG FLASH OF LIGHT CHANGE OF SEQUENCE *  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Let them in," Hermione's horny husband said huskily.  
  
'God I love alliteration,' Hermione laughed at her alliteration cleverness.  
  
"Darling, do not be afraid of the greasy Americans, we still have that weird guy with all the keys." The French guy tried to soothe her.  
  
"Right, yes well," Hermione managed to get out before some people walked into the restaurant that they were in.  
  
"Draco?" Hermione said in disbelief as Draco walked in with characters from the movie; Trinity and Morpheus.  
  
"Hello, tell me where the key maker is," Draco pointed to her husband.  
  
"Draco, wait he's dangerous. . . kind of." Hermione kinda of figured that she was on the bad side, and that means that they we're kind of strong, but. . . then again, Draco was the 'ONE' so he could do anything of course.  
  
"Shh Hermione!" Draco shushed her.  
  
"I love swearing in French, it's like wiping your ass with silk," Her husband said.  
  
'What the hell has this guy been smoking,' Draco looked at the French guy in disgust, 'where the hell did that thought come from? Silk? Ass? Did I even mention any of that?'  
  
Obviously not since he had only asked where the key maker was.  
  
"Riiiiiiiihgt," Was all Draco managed to get out before the French man started to talk again.  
  
"We all have a purpose, and. . . a choice. We all do stuff that's important, and I am supposed to say something that has to do with the plot, but I really can't remember what the hell I'm supposed to say, So I'll just keep going on about a purpose, and a choice that we have already made, but we have to see what choice we made, but it's already been made so there's no point, and then there's the purpose. . .and other stuff." The French guy went on and on.  
  
"Yah. . ." Draco said, this guy was crazy.  
  
"I'm now going to make that girl over there orgasm cause this is a crappy movie and I just thought that there weren't enough women in it, and Trinity is fugly, so we have to have something like this in it," The French guy pointed at a lovely lady eating dinner with some people.  
  
"Uhh. . .no that' okay, so about that Key maker?" Draco tried to get him to answer the question.  
  
"Don't even try Draco, when this guy wants to talk, he wants to talk," Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yah I noticed," Draco said over the French guy's purpose and choice speech.  
  
"Anyway, I must go now," The French guy said in his horrible accent and then left.  
  
"Oh you're kidding me, I just listened to that whole thing, and he never told me anything?" Draco threw his hands up in the air.  
  
"Something is not right here," Morpheus said.  
  
"Yah, and that something is that stupid looking outfit you are wearing," Draco pointed at Morpheus's disgraceful outfit. Draco himself had found the sense to go buy some regular clothes and put them on.  
  
"Neo, we must get to the key maker," Trinity said.  
  
"The guy's right you know, you are extremely ugly, I can't believe I had sex with you," Draco poked her.  
  
"Draco, I don't think that they are processing what you're saying," Hermione pointed to the blank stares on Morpheus's and Trinity's faces.  
  
"I know where the key maker is," Hermione said quite suddenly.  
  
"What, then why didn't you tell me before?" Draco asked furiously.  
  
"Uhh. . I didn't say anything, what are you talking about?" Hermione looked confused.  
  
"I think the characters of the movie are trying to take over their own body and do the right script," Draco said to her.  
  
"Oh no. . ." Hermione gasped.  
  
"Where is the key maker?" Trinity asked.  
  
"I'll only tell you on one condition," Hermione smiled seductively.  
  
"What?" Draco asked, staying close to Trinity, much to his own disgust.  
  
"You must kiss me, with love. The love that you show her," Hermione said to Draco.  
  
"Ack! It's making me say things, I hate her!" Draco pointed to Trinity.  
  
"I know, I can't. . . So are you going to kiss me or not?" Hermione smiled.  
  
"Go on, I'll be alright," Trinity said.  
  
Draco hesitantly went up to Hermione and gave her a quick kiss on the lips putting nothing into it at all. 'Geez this guy Neo is a pansy,' Draco hissed at his character, fighting to take over the body again. . . and succeeded. He then grabbed Hermione fiercely and started kissing her maliciously.  
  
'Oh my god,' Hermione thought to herself, she had no control over her body, or else she would've pushed Malfoy away. 'Uhhh. . I think.'  
  
Behind them Trinity was fuming, she was about to break up the kiss, when Draco let go and winked at Hermione.  
  
"Yah. . . ok. . that was good. . ." Hermione blushed a flattering shade of deep red.  
  
"The Key maker?' Morpheus asked.  
  
"Yah. This way."  
  
* Flash Bang CHANGE OF SEQUENCE *  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
Draco found himself in a hallway, being attacked by. . . dammit!  
  
"Potter! Seriously can't you control yourself?" Draco slapped Harry who was at the moment trying to kill him.  
  
"No, actually I can't," Potter frowned.  
  
"Damn," Draco said, when suddenly he jumped into a room that was opened by the KeyMaker, who pretty much was shot all over. He looked like that kind of cheese with the holes in it.  
  
"Flattering," Draco laughed.  
  
"you must go now," Morpheus handed him a key, and pushed him towards a door.  
  
"Yah, yah," Draco rolled his eyes and unlocked the door.  
  
"Good bye now," Morpheus waved good bye, when a single Potter walked through the door.  
  
"Hey Malfoy! I got it now, I can control myself," Harry laughed.  
  
"That does me so much good now," Draco sneered.  
  
"Yah well I'm coming with you," Harry pointed towards the door Draco was about to enter.  
  
"Sure why not," He shrugged and opened the door, and stepped through.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~``  
  
"Dammit, it took you guys so long," Ron wailed from the chair he was sitting in.  
  
"Ron!" They both exclaimed in surprise.  
  
"Who are you?" Harry asked.  
  
"I'm the architect. I made the Matrix." Ron said.  
  
"I ought to kill you for having made the Matrix, and choosing THIS movie to go to," Draco moved towards Ron.  
  
"Oh don't blame me," Ron said.  
  
"Well then who should I blame?" Draco asked.  
  
"The people who made a sequel to the original movie that I just finished watching," Ron said pointing to a screen that was playing the Matrix.  
  
"Wow, his coat is so much cooler than in this movie," Draco looked down to see that he was once again in the pansy coat.  
  
"Yah I know," Ron laughed.  
  
"Well what now?" Harry asked, really wanting to get out of this hellish movie.  
  
"I suppose that I should tell you that you can 1) Choose to destroy everyone but one person, or 2) you can destroy your weird little city type thing. Or 3) you can all listen to me talk about purpose and choice, and purpose, and choice. . . and stuff like that" Ron shrugged.  
  
"I've seriously heard enough of that stuff by now," Draco rolled his eyes.  
  
"Well since you're the One you should make your choice." Harry told him.  
  
"Yah, make your choice," Ron said.  
  
"Ok, I choose to destroy everyone, but bring Hermione back so we can fricken get out of here," Draco chose.  
  
"Cool," Ron said, and then he did some weird thing where Hermione was on the screen everywhere, trying to ward off the weirdo French guy.  
  
"Just in time," Harry laughed, and Hermione was transported here.  
  
"My god, that man's disgusting," Hermione shook her head.  
  
"Lets just hope we can get out of here now," Ron said.  
  
"Excuse me. . ."  
  
"Excuse me. . ."  
  
"Excuse. .."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Excuse me, the movies over, could you four please leave?" a clean up guy said.  
  
"Uhhh. . . yah," Hermione said, waking up the others.  
  
"My God, thank you lord that that is over!" Harry said.  
  
"I was a freaking pansy, I like ugly girls!" Draco said disgustedly.  
  
"About that kiss Malfoy, we'll talk later" Hemione winked at Draco.  
  
"What kiss!?" Ron yelled.  
  
"Uhh. . . lets go. . ." Harry said grinning.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~^~~~~~~~~  
  
Author's note: First chapter finished. What did you think? 


End file.
